Friday Funnies

This list is hardly new, but it came up in conversation today so I was inspired to seek it out and write about it. You all undoubtedly know about the Chuck Norris list. For example: "Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he doesn't cry." Well someone compiled a list for Alton Brown. And it's even more fabulous because it involves Alton Brown.

Anyways, here's the complete list. Some favorites:

"Alton Brown can boil a three-minute egg in thirty-seven seconds."

"Alton Brown doesn't reduce sauces, he demoralizes sauces."

"Grown men have been known to weep for joy in the mere presence of Alton Brown's vinaigrette. His hollandaise sauce can kill a man from sheer ecstasy at forty paces."

"Alton Brown's cakes don't rise. They ascend."

"When Alton Brown slices onions, the onions cry."

"Alton Brown doesn't whip potatoes. Alton Brown's potatoes whip themselves, if they know what's good for them."

I wish I could take credit for any of these. Alas I can only take credit for enjoying them. I hope you all do too! :-)

Madden's Market (tentative name)

If, like me, you absolutely love Madden's in Bryan, you'll be happy to know that the business is expanding. Over the weekend Peter Madden sent out an email to the list to inform everyone of Madden's Market.

Here's the concept direct from the owner/executive chef, himself: "...We have already started putting in 1-2 acre garden near the location where we will access a lot of produce, Tara is constantly on the phone with local and Texas producers looking for useable product for us, My Mom and Dad (they live in the Rio Grande Valley) have agreed to supply us with Texas citrus and other available products from down there like avocados, when they are in season. Some of our citrus will come right from their back yard. Local cheese makers, honey, fruits, vegetables, nuts, dairy, eggs, meats, anything we can get and use we will. I hope that everything on the menu will be composed of at least 50% local and or Texas products. So if you know anyone who is a producer, send them our way. Oh yeah, the market aspect of our concept is that you will be able to purchase these products from the market section of the restaurant. Hill country peaches, Rio Grande Valley citrus, East Texas rice, West Texas cactus and sand, just kidding, don't know what we can get from out there."

The opening is scheduled, tentatively, for June 1, 2010 and the market will be located between William D Fitch (Route 40) and Rock Prairie, on the east side of I-6 in South College Station. My guess is it will be somewhere between McDonald's and Harley Davison. The market will be very casual and there will be no waiter service.

Madden's Market sounds absolutely fabulous to me. I can't wait for the opening. I'll let you all know more as I find out more information.

Mi Cocina, aka Polly's Cocina - Bryan/College Station

To add some confusion, the following review is written about Mi Cocina, a restaurant in Bryan and College Station. Very recently the restaurant, Mi Cocina, had to change their name because a huge restaurant conglomerate in Dallas registered their trademark/copyright under the same name. The new name for the B/CS restaurants is Polly's Cocina. The owners and food are still the same.

Small, family-owned restaurants that make exceptional food, no matter what the genre, are prized possessions for any town. Our little hamlet of Bryan/College Station just so happens to have several that have become institutions on Mexican and Tex-Mex food. That is definitely NOT a complaint. My personal favorite of these is Mi Cocina. With four locations around town, Mi Cocina sounds like it should be a massive McDonald's style chain. However they are all owned and operated by the same family and on any given day you might find the owners waiting tables or delivering catering supplies to their customers.

The corn chips at Mi Cocina are the very, very thin variety found throughout Texas. They are s thin they break apart in your hands, but this enough to stand up to the wonderfully flavorful salsa they are served with. When visiting other parts of the country it seems weird to have thick chips. The guacamole at Mi Cocina is also a thing of beauty. Thick chunks of avocado, with integrated lemon and spices.

The menu features your typical fare for this part of the country. However my favorite is the barbacoa tacos. Barbacoa is the meat from the head of a cow that has been slowly roasted with spices until the point that it literally falls off the bone. The flavor is undeniably savory and the texture of the meat just melts in your mouth. This is served on hand-made flour tortillas imprinted with the TAMU logo, that sometimes arrive still warm.

If you order a meal it comes with homemade refried beans that taste far better than anything I've ever had up North. The Lovely Spouse typically orders Steak ala Mexicana. It's a small, flat steak cooked to order served with a vegetable gravy, rice and beans, as well as a small salad. It meets his very stringent requirements for steak and he eats it often. Therefore I assume he enjoys it. :-) However whenever I have a craving for Mexican, it's always for the barbacoa. MmmmmMMMMMmmmm...

The decor is nothing special. Two of the restaurants are located in gas stations. One is next to a Subway sandwich shop and the other is a small converted house. The napkins are paper, the flatware and plates are typical of what you might find in a cafeteria and the drink menu is limited to a few beers, margaritas and fountain drinks. There's no pretention here and you often see people arrive after work in overalls, work suits and a variety of casual wear.

And before I sign off, I would be an absolute cad if I didn't mention that they are also well-known for their Tex-Mex style breakfast menu which features migas and breakfast tacos (I don't typically eat out for breakfast so I can't give any personal opinion on this). They also are one of the few restaurants in the area to serve menudo and caldo, but only on weekends. So...if you've got a hangover you now know where to eat on weekends.

Would I eat there again? Sure! The Lovely Spouse and I eat there about once a week.

Would I recommend it to others? Absolutely. If you want descent Mexican food without any pretention at a very good price, you've come to the right place.

Dining at Disney, Part 3: Biergarten and Le Cellier

After much delay, this the last in my Dining at Disney posts. Today I'll cover two of the more difficult to get into restaurants: Le Cellier, in the Canadian Pavillion, and Biergarten, in the German Pavillion.

Le Cellier Steakhouse is the best rated restaurant in Orlando, Florida, according to Trip Advisor. Several other sites prefer the adults-only snootiness of Victoria and Albert's. However judging by how hard it was to get into Le Cellier and how easy it was to even inquire about same-day reservations at Victoria and Albert's I'm going to make the assumption that Le Cellier is more popular among guests of Disney World. We made our reservations 90 days in advance of our lunch, which just happened to be the same day as Canadian Thanksgiving.

Le Cellier is a pretty restaurant that looks like it is in the basement of a castle, hence the name. The hosts/hostesses were all very friendly and more than a little surprised that we even knew it was Canadian Thanksgiving without having been prompted (thanks Sean for the text message stating such). Our server had the strongest Canadian accent I have ever heard...and was not enhancing it for the effect.

Since we were there for lunch, we ordered off the lunch menu. The folks split a meal that included a sliced beef sandwich and several sides including their famous cheddar soup and "Canadian potato salad." I ordered an appetizer of duck three ways and tasted the spouse's cheddar soup. In addition I also got the sliced steak sandwich with fries. The cheddar soup, I must say, really is as good as advertised. It's creamy and cheesy without being overbearing. In all, very well balanced. The duck three ways was very much worth getting. Melt in your mouth goodness. My father didn't care for the spiciness of the "Canadian potato salad" which was generated by the overuse of raw garlic. However we all enjoyed the sliced beef sandwiches. Mine was slightly dry, but I think it's because I was unable to have it with the caramelized onions that are supposed to come on it. Our entrees were served with pomogranite lemonade, which I have to admit was far too sweet. The beer selection was quite good, with reasonable prices. Had it not been around 95 degrees F outside I might have preferred a beer. Dessert consisted of maple creme brulee. Yum. As you all know I like maple syrup in just about anything. Creme brulee was a nice match.

In all, we all enjoyed our food at Le Cellier Steakhouse. Coming for lunch was nice, particularly since the prices were much better than for dinner. We would all definitely go back. Although the idea of making reservations so far in advance for lunch is quite daunting.

Next up is Biergarten, in the German Restaurant. Three guesses on the theme to this restaurant. Yup, it's Bavarian. A lot. There are flags displayed to represent the other regions of Germany, but the food and atmosphere are unmistakably Bavarian.

As some of you already know, I have a pathological fear of buffets. I think this all started when I was very young and spending my summers in Ocean City, Maryland. There's a legendary buffet there called Paul Revere's. It's legendarily bad. We got sucked in my a decent price, boardwalk location and really cool marketing photos showing fresh fish and other foods. Unfortunately the reality of the place is that it's amazing more people don't get campylobacter or salmonella from eating there. Additionally, most buffets end up with the same boring overcooked food, slowly degrading on steam tables. There's nothing tasty about that. Nor is there anything appetizing about the idea that the sneeze guard doesn't really serve any function.

So when my father announced that we had reservations at Biergarten, I was apprehensive. Trip Advisor reviews referring to the place as "fun" didn't help allay my fear for the food. However the folks really wanted to eat there so we had to humor them and do it with our best smiling faces. And we were pleasantly surprised.

Yes, the atmosphere is cheesy. Yes the buffet contains stereotypically German food that's really Bavarian. However the quality of the food was quite good and I could see the staff regularly turning over the food on the line; a very good sign. Much of the featured food were sausages, as well as head cheese, potato and pickle dishes. There were also vegetable dishes and, my favorite, spaetzle. Yum. Additionally there was a prime rib carving station, which I ignored due to the variety elsewhere on the line.

In addition to the quality of the food, the beer selection was quite good. I was not prepared for hefeweizen by the liter, though. Needless to say it made for a fun lunch with my family.

The Bavarian-style shows ran about every 30 minutes with a small oompa band cranking out polkas. Seating is Munich-style, where you're likely to share a table with another group. Our group was a fun group of guys in town for a convention.

In all, I was impressed. Mostly because it was good food on a buffet. It's technical challenge to keep everything hot and fresh on the line. Does this mean I've made peace with buffets? NO. All it means is that there is now one buffet in the world where I will eat.

Restaurant Review: Naked Fish Sushi and Grill

There's a new sushi place in town! It's located in front of Harvey Washbangers, where Doc Green's used to be. We all knew Doc Green's wouldn't survive, because who wants to pay $10 for a side salad?

A Google search of "Naked Fish Sushi & Grill" yielded results that indicate the restaurant is part of a growing chain, with at least three restaurants, including ones in San Francisco, Las Vegas and College Station. You're not the only one thinking these are an odd combination, given College Station isn't exactly a dot on the national culinary map. However this could just be a result of not having a consistent web presence. And based on the Yelp results, the place has been open a little less than two weeks.

The decor is funky and new-looking. I particularly enjoy the digital picture frames at each table and fiber optic lights. The space is small so it's likely you'll get to know a bit about your neighbor. The hostess is wearing an approximation of a kimono and will greet you with a little Japanese. As an interesting note, the table staff and manager all spoke Japanese and were shocked when the Lovely Spouse did as well.

Beers were very well priced at $3.50 a bottle and there was a good selection, including Asahi, Kirin and Sapporo. The menu is surprisingly extensive, but rather light. The selections were what you would expect to find in most American sushi restaurants, as well as a few "house" rolls that were distinct to Naked Fish.

The spouse and I ordered two rolls, an order of sea urchin (which can't currently be found anywhere else in College Station), an appetizer and the sushi sampler. A word of warning: this was too much food for the two of us. The Burning Man roll was a futumaki size roll that included eel, but was not hot in any way. The volcano roll was a huge mass of stuff on top of california rolls. These were a bit odd, but keeping in "tradition" with the new American sushi style. At some

point I'm going to learn that I prefer the Japanese style sushi rolls, but I still keep ordering the

funky new American style rolls. Anyways, the rolls weren't bad and didn't taste bad by any step in my imagination. It's just it seems I prefer maki to a pile of sushi. Anyways, the sea urchin was good, albeit obviously 1000+ miles from the West coast. Normally sea urchin is buttery, salty and just a bit fishy. This was a tiny bit fishier than desirable, but not bad. The Lovely Spouse said his sushi sampler was fantastic, particularly the yellowtail. And the California Rolls were good, as expected.

The spouse's sushi sampler came with a salad and "clear soup" that very closely resembled miso soup, but without the miso and lots more scallions. The salad dressing was lovely, with loads of ginger. It's funny that I mention the salad, considering the previous occupant of the restaurant space. :-)

The one really big complaint I had about this place was a phenomenon that I hope is not becoming ubiquitous in sushi bars and Japanese restaurants: sake bombs. What's a sake bomb, you ask? It's a shot of sake dropped into a half glass of beer. Ideally this is done in groups where everyone races to the bottom of the glass of beer. What makes this irritating? The yelling that goes on beforehand. It's usually some form of "Sake bomb! One! Two! Three! Go!" I don't mind this after 10 pm on a weekend at a bar. I do mind it at 8 pm midweek while enjoying a quiet dinner with the Lovely Spouse. Call me an old fart, if you will, but I find it disruptive and immature, and best left to a bar environment. Some of us have reached the age where we no longer feel the need to announce to the world that we are drinking something alcoholic. It's really not that big a deal. And what's the point of even decorating a restaurant as such if you are trying to promote yourself as a frat house?

Alas, I digress.

Will I be going back to Naked Fish? Sure. Gotta try a place at least twice. :-) The service was good and friendly, the Asahi was reasonably priced, and the nigiri was good.

Would I recommend this place to others? Yup. You've been warned about the sake bombs.

Just a note before I finish this post: Many apologies for the long time between posts. Between traveling and getting sick I haven't been in the mood to discuss food all that much. I'm back now, although I'm going to warn you there will be further disruptions with the holidays coming up. :-)

Since you asked: places I eat when I'm not planning on writing a review in Maryland

I wasn't planning on writing reviews of anything I ate while up in Maryland. The trip was in order to attend a friend's wedding and to just kind of hang out with the family. BUT since some of you asked, here's where I ate, keeping in mind I've been living outside of Maryland since 2002.

1. Gunning's Seafood. It's between BWI and my folk's house, making it an ideal location to find a few Maryland specialties that, for some odd reason, people just don't make in Texas. I specifically went for the soft shell crab sandwich, which was all that I remembered. Crispy fried and served on white bread with lettuce and tomato, along side Utz's chips. They also had something called "pepper rings", which were bell pepper rings deep fried and dusted with powdered sugar. Sounds nasty, but it was surprisingly good, although I could only eat 2 of them. The meal was complete with Maryland Crab Soup, a stew of crab meat and veggies seasoned with Old Bay. Mmmmm.... There's nothing fancy about this restaurant, and much of the food is fried casual fare. But it's the stuff you miss when you move out of the region, prepared the way you remember.

2. Eggspectations in Columbia, MD. A Canada-based company that is slowly moving south along the Eastern Seaboard, it's pretty easy to guess that they serve breakfast all day. What might not be so obvious is that their Happy Hour is one of the most popular in town. Half price appetizers and drinks within driving distance to 7 or 8 colleges and universities makes this a no-brainer for people who want something tasty on a limited budget. It's also near my sibling's house and is very child-friendly. So we typically go there each time I visit. On this trip the folks weren't hungry so they just ordered dessert crepes, which were made to order and filled with not-to-sweet fruit and bavarian cream. I ordered the vegetarian lettuce wrap special, which was just as messy as lettuce wraps everywhere. Kids meals consist of standard kit fare at a reduced price, including chicken strips, pasta and fries.

3. G&M Restaurant in Linthicum Heights. Strange location, with Baltimore City off in the distance, and even stranger exterior hide the newly renovated interior and surprising quality of food. There is an on-running debate in Baltimore about who has the best crab cakes. G&M and Obrycki's in Fell's Point typically are at the top of everyone's list. Obrycki's is typically where tourists and other out-of-towners are sent because the location is so easy to find. However, if someone is willing to make the trek, G&M is worth the effort. It's a truly old-school restaurant that's been cranking out typical regional food, including Baltimore-style prime rib and liver and onions along with their award winning crab cakes for almost 2 decades. Everything is well made, from the salads on down to their constantly brewed fresh coffee. They have pastry chefs on staff, as well as seafood and beef specialists. The crab cakes are worth the fuss, and are about the size of a softball. Portions are very large.

4. Mango Grove in Columbia. Back when I lived in Maryland I frequented Mango Grove for it's light vegetarian Indian fare. It was the only place I knew of that served a paper dosa as well as the best malai kafta I've ever had. Since I moved away they purchased what used to be a rather nasty Chinese restaurant next door and converted the Chinese restaurant part to a Northern Indian restaurant that features meat dishes. And they continue to serve vegetarian fare in the Mango Grove portion of the building, as well as the new part. It's a welcome change as I have family members that are adverse to the mere idea of eating vegetarian. I still prefer the malai kafta to everything else on the menu, though. :-) I also recommend the veggie samosas, mango lassi and nan. I'm told the chicken and lamb tikka masala are also quite good. They have very recently opened up an Indian grocery store in the shopping center near the restaurants. I recommend checking them out if you wish to make some of wonderful Indian food on your own.

Dining at Disney, Part 2: Hidden Finds

As some of you may already be well aware, Disney World is a rather vast commercial enterprise. Everywhere you go it seems you're being charged for something. Some charges are small, some are huge and some end up hidden on that little room card they offer to allow you to carry around on your wrist, "for your convenience." And after awhile, everything commercial starts to look the same. However there are a few hidden finds within Disney World, if you're willing to look for them.

First, every theme park and resort has a bakery, candy store and ice cream shop combo. And it is an excellent one. The ice cream is high quality and the bakery items are very well made with high-quality ingredients. Many of the confections are made in-house at each individual shop, and samples are always offered. The Lovely Spouse was happy to find a huge selection of jelly beans at each shop, for sale by volume.

Another hidden find, that only the adults will appreciate, can be found in the Mexican pavillion of Epcot. Most people know about the delicious margaritas available at the Cantinas inside and outside the pavillion. But hidden away, just to the right of the staircase descending into the inside of the pavillion you will find a tiny door to La Cava del Tequila. At first glance it's just a bar. At second glance, everything is top shelf. Glancing at their menu you'll find tequila tastings and flights of tequila; something most people only associate with wine.

I tried the Traditional Flight for a tequila tasting. It came with a blanco, an anejo and an extra anejo, as well as a small dish of salt and lime, and a shot of granita. For those that don't know anejo tequila is "normal" blanco tequila that has been aged, at least a year, in an oak barrel. Extra anejo has been aged even longer. The oak gives the tequila extra flavor characteristics, such as vanilla and cherry, that can't be found in blanco tequilas. The granita is served to settle stomach issues that many people experience when drinking straight tequila. All were served at room temperature.

The only drawback to La Cava is the small space. There were no tables, as the others who had discovered it before we had, camped out at the tables. Bar space was made available as people came, sampled and moved on. Without fail, everyone was very nice and extremely knowledgeable. I recommend seeking out La Cava when in Epcot, even if only to sample tequilas that may or may not be available near your home and to expand your culinary knowledge. The party atmosphere and fine tequila shots don't hurt either.