Anyways, here's the complete list. Some favorites:
"Alton Brown can boil a three-minute egg in thirty-seven seconds."
"Alton Brown doesn't reduce sauces, he demoralizes sauces."
"Grown men have been known to weep for joy in the mere presence of Alton Brown's vinaigrette. His hollandaise sauce can kill a man from sheer ecstasy at forty paces."
"Alton Brown's cakes don't rise. They ascend."
"When Alton Brown slices onions, the onions cry."
"Alton Brown doesn't whip potatoes. Alton Brown's potatoes whip themselves, if they know what's good for them."
I wish I could take credit for any of these. Alas I can only take credit for enjoying them. I hope you all do too! :-)